Miss Foster? >> Yes. >> Hi. >> Hi, you can call me Sarah. >> Sarah, great. Hi Sarah. My name is Sandy Chan. I'm actually the social worker with palliative care. I'm wondering if you sort of know why you're here today to see me. >> Not really. >> Hm, that often happens. So basically I am the psychosocial provider. So really I am here to support you emotionally and psychosocially as you kind of go through this cancer journey. And I'm part of a team that looks at you holistically, so we know that cancer affects all areas of your life. So we look at the physical, psychological, social, and spiritual needs that you may have and then we try to address them by using an interdisciplinary team. So I kind of cover the psychological and social aspects of that of that grouping. So I hope to be able to be a resource for you as you kind of go through this process. >> Okay. >> So I hope that's okay. >> Yes. >> So, I understand you're newly diagnosed. That must be pretty hard. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I'm just feeling overwhelmed. >> Yeah. >> I'm exhausted all of the time. I feel like I'm just walking around with my head in a fog and the whole thing is just quite surreal. >> Yeah, well, I mean, it sounds like you're going through a lot. You know how have you been taking care of yourself through this or as you been dealing with this? >> Well, I'm trying to just keep to the usual routine. >> Okay, okay. Yeah, so I think definitely this kind of being diagnosed with cancer can be really hard and throw the routine off. So it makes sense that if you might feel a little bit kind of emotionally like this that's kind of what we would expect. So when you say that you're overwhelmed, I mean that is what I would say 99.9% of the cancer patients feel so you're definitely not alone. So who actually is a support to you like do you have your family? >> Yeah, well there's my husband. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Okay, I heard you just got married. >> I did. >> Good, congratulations. >> Thank you. >> This month? >> Yeah. >> Wow recently then, very recently. That must be your? >> Yes brand new and very sparkly still. >> Very sparkly. >> Yes. >> Beautiful. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, so that all happened at once then kind of your diagnosis. >> Yeah, right after the honeymoon. >> Yeah, wow. >> Yeah. >> Have you talked with your husband just about how you've been feeling or? >> A little. >> Okay. >> I'm not sure even how to talk about it. >> Yeah. >> I don't even know what I feel and I'm trying to bring him in and share with him. But like I said, I'm not exactly sure how so I feel like he's wanting to support me but feel like I'm pushing him away a little bit not on purpose, but just because I'm unsure. And I know things are just going to get harder so I know I can't do that, but I haven't figured out how to balance that. >> Right, well, and I think that's okay, right? I mean you're trying to deal with this internally right now. This is all new for you. You're trying to get your bearings, get information from your providers here. So, that's going to take a little bit of time. So that's okay. That's okay and it makes sense that you would want to kind of go inward a little bit or protect yourself now. Because it's a very vulnerable feeling to be dealing with this so that completely makes sense. And intimacy is hard like in the best of circumstances it's hard. So I think it's something that we can certainly talk more about moving forward. I mean, I'd love to meet him at some point if he's able to come in. I don't know if that's possible for him or? >> Yeah I mean, he just got a new job. So things are a little crazy schedule wise. >> Okay. >> But obviously this is important to him too. So I'm sure we could make that work. >> Okay, no, that'll be great actually because then we can actually talk about these things like as a couple and I think that might be able to help things. >> Okay. >> So I guess your husband has a new job. I mean, what kind of work have you been doing? Are you? >> Yeah, I've been doing a lot of volunteering at my son's school. >> Great. Okay, that's nice. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> That's been a lot of fun. >> Okay, do you live around here or? >> Yeah. >> Nice. Okay okay. And so you spend some time with the school. Can I ask how your son is doing? >> He's doing great actually. >> Really, good. >> I mean, I haven't told him a whole lot yet. I mean, I've told him that I'm sick, but I haven't really shared a lot of details. >> Okay. >> So I just want to be supporting him right now. >> Yeah. >> I don't want him to be the one supporting me. So I'm trying to just keep things normal so. >> Great. >> I mean he's doing great in school and he's on the soccer team and he has this great group of little friends that are hilarious. And so I just want to keep things as normal as possible for him. >> Okay, great. So it sounds like he is actually doing quite well then if he's on the soccer team, hes hanging out with his buddies. So everything seems to be pretty much normal. So that's great. That's great. >> And I think yeah, I think that's one of the things I'm particularly worried about right now is maintaining that. Because okay so I know you're not supposed to look up things on the Internet, but when I got the diagnosis, I just wanted to educate myself a little bit. >> Sure. >> I came across this website that talks about the kind of cancer I have. And one of the things that it mentioned was that sometimes when someone gets colon cancer at a younger age like I have. >> Yeah. >> That sometimes that indicates that it can be familial and passed down and I'm not going to lie that that freaks me out a little bit. I mean it's one thing to go through this myself, but the idea that just you would have to go through this is really horrifying to me. >> Yeah well, the Internet is a very interesting place, right? I mean it has amazing amounts of information. Some of that information is great and helpful. And then some of that information is not so great and not so helpful. And I think especially with these kinds of things, I would just go ahead and talk about it with your oncologist, to really ask her like is this even something that you need to be concerned about? I mean it may or may not be right? And I think we can always get ourselves revved up about possible things that could be coming but we don't so, I think maybe you bring that to your next appointment with Dr. Ramachandran and see is this something you need to be concerned about? Because it makes sense you would be worried reading something like that. We try to have people like stay as much as we can in sort of what the present moment which is hard. It's easy to think about the future. Or to be in the past or to think about those things. So we try to help people sort of be in the present about things. So yeah, so I would hold on to that for sure. >> Okay. >> I think that's actually really, really important you talk to her about. >> Okay. >> Now I notice you're wearing a cross. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, it's beautiful. >> Thank you. Yeah, my faith is a really important piece to me. >> Hm, so. >> Okay. >> Yeah, but I think that's been hard right now to. I feel like normally when I have difficult things come up in life or just feel like I'm losing perspective that talking to God about it just being in prayer is really encouraging and really helps give me perspective and keep moving through things. But I think with this I know it would help but I can't even do it. I can't even talk to him right now. And so I feel like I don't want to burden Tim and it's not Jesse's role to be my confidante and I don't feel like I can talk to God. >> Yeah. >> So I just end up feeling really alone. >> Why do you think that is that you feel like you can't talk to him now? >> I guess I kind of feel like this is a punishment and I know that doesn't really make sense. It doesn't fit in with what I believe and know about God but I can't shake that feeling that this is a punishment. >> Hm, you mean your cancer diagnosis? Wow. Well that must be a hard feeling to be with. We actually have an oncology chaplain that works with our team. She is nondenominational. She works with cancer patients all the time. I've known her for many years. She's great. And it may be helpful for you to talk to her. I don't know if that's something you might be interested in because she's really connected to faith and definitely since this is something that's important to you and I think really something that's supporting you. We want to support that in you to be able to help get you through this process. Do you think you would be open to that now? >> Not right now, maybe in the future I think. >> Okay. >> Right now that's just it's something really personal for me. And I feel like this is all still so raw. That I think that's a little out of my comfort zone right now. >> Okay, okay, that's totally fair. And I think just know that that's something that is available to you if you should ever want that. >> Okay. >> I know because I think we want to make sure that you have access to all the different resources that are here, okay.
